Yesterday evening I was having a moment. You know--a moment. My moments usually swirl around topics of money, finances, bills, debt, and occasionally family. So you see where I tend to keep my focus.
Cbabi and I were in the kitchen. He listened patiently to my looped version of, "I wish we started the business with more money because it feels like we can never get ahead...I've been praying; I'm praying everyday...I realize that I wasn't born to be poor; I'm clear, God! I don't know what to do. I am so tired of this conversation..."
And as if on cue, my littlest one enters the kitchen. In his hand is a little figurine he built out of legos. He has a name. He says the name, but I'm so "woe is me" I barely hear him...until he says, "And he prays to God."
"He prays to God."
Now, my children are familiar with God, but they don't mention Him/Her most days. Around Christmas time, God and Santa are in heavy rotation, but a February evening before dinner-- ehh, not so much. So when he says this, my ears perk up and I whip myself out of "woe is me" and listen to my baby boy.
"What does he pray about to God?" I ask.
And as he begins to shrug his shoulders I assume he's going to say I don't know, but he doesn't.
He says, "That God will take care of us."
I could not make this up if I had to! Cbabi smiles because he knows I'm going to cry, and I do, of course. And I lift up my little boy and hug him and tell him he is my angel from God. And he is so over this by this point but goes along with the overwhelming hugs and kisses.
So why do I tell you this story? I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who prays and prays and prays so much that it feels like begging or like I'm talking to air. Life is beautiful, but when you are consumed with constant concerns about money, the beauty plays peek-a-boo--and more boo than peek. But God hears you. Keep praying. Keep asking. And keep being grateful for all that is there because God really wants us to know the beauty of life.
Just when I was thinking, "Dear God, it's me, Reine! Hello?!?!?! Do you see me or hear me?", my beautiful little boy who rarely mentions God, does so perfectly. Right on time. Just to remind me that I'm not on my own.
Neither are you.
grace & peace,